not so zen momma

I wrote this blog post yesterday, but Wi-Fi at the St. Louis airport was $7.95! So here you go:

Don’t you love how sometimes you hear the right thing at the right time? Perhaps it’s an encouraging word from another mom in the supermarket, or a nice thank you from your husband after not-so-easy-to-cook meal? And sometimes, the message comes from a book or article. (However, I’m still waiting for those Shape articles to provide some much-needed mental motivation.)

Right before I left for a not-so-easy business meeting in Florida, I picked up our book club book, How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill. I wasn’t so eager to read it. Why? On first glance, the riches to rags story just didn’t seem so original to me. And, it also is a little convenient to piggyback on the Starbucks brand to promote your book.

However, when I started reading I didn’t stop. I had the whole book devoured by the time I touched down in Tampa. It just had the right message at the right time. I’ll save my numerous personal reflections for the gal’s in my book club (shout out to Liz, Jessica, Emily, and Aubrey), but I just wanted to share a couple of passages that helped me through a difficult couple of days:

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating-in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. -a quote from Anne Morriss, a Starbucks Guest from New York City, published on the side of a Grande Caramel Macchiato”

“I realized I had spent most of my life trying not to fail. Trying to meet my parents’ high expectations. Terrified of letting my family down. It had all been, I felt now, a terrible burden for me. And so stupid of me!"

And lastly, as a continued shout out to Emily who “tagged me” several days ago, here are your requested 6 random things:

1. As much as I love the spirit of blogging, I’m not going to tag other people. Blame it on my laziness to link to more people and jump around to various blogs to see who else has been tagged.
   
2. I’m currently typing away from a Chili’s Too in the St. Louis airport. There are four other people clicking away their loneliness via their little black boxes (computers).
3. I prefer the aisle seat, rather than a window. I do like the view, but I would rather just be able to lean away from all the people in my row. Sorry other Southwest peeps, but I have space issues.
4. As much as I tell myself it won’t happen, when faced with disappointment or anger, I cry like a baby. Then, I get more angry, which I (in a logical state) acknowledge as counter-productive to the “no crying” rule.
5. I believe just about any food item can be improved by dipping it in full-fat ranch. However—ahem, people at the table next to me—I do not understand tainting delicious chips and salsa with double-dipping into ranch. I’m must be a Tex Mex purist.
6. I have been wanting to write a short story or screen play about this guy who walks around our neighborhood. He wears seventies-era shorts, a cut off muscle shirt, eighties-era FM headphones, hand weights and an eye-patch. He also is remarkably out of shape for such a routine exerciser. As someone who writes every day, not many things inspire me. But this guy, he must have a story…

We've had many laughs the past couple of weeks as Van keeps demonstrating his increased understanding of the world around him.

• When walking backwards he yells "beep, beep, beep," just like a truck in reverse.
• When told to eat his toast, he promptly pointed at his toes.
• Anything that comes from his nose or is found in the floor is labeled as "ewww."
• He has started giving Derek and me small bites of his food, saying "bite" followed by throwing the food at us. After many frustrated meals, I figured out that he was feeding us like ducks, one of his favorite activities to enjoy with Granny and Pawpaw.
• This morning during our wake-up negotiations (where he rolls around in his bed so I can't get him out) I asked, do you want to go to school to see your friends? No. Want to stay home with momma? No. What do you want to do Van? Pawpaw. (He has a one-track mind for his grandparents)
  

Along with increased awareness, he has also become very interested in anything involved with poo poo or pee pee. We bought all the potty training essentials yesterday, we'll see how it goes.

In addition, we've been trying to figure out what Van should be for Halloween. Last year, he was a cuddly baby elephant. This year, we are trying to pick something that he likes. Here are some of our ideas, feel free to make suggestions!

• Giant chocolate chip cookie
• Hershey kiss
• Michael Phelps (complete with speedo, googles, and fake muscles)
• Bob Stoops or OU football player
  
• Pawpaw (all ready for his Sunday sermon)

Michael Phelp's post-swim dinner:

• Pound of pasta
  
• 1 whole pizza
• Another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks

Van's post-swim dinner:

• 2 individual containers of diced carrots
• 1 hot dog
• 1 slice of large Papa Murphy's garlic chicken pizza
• 1 individual container of applesauce
  
• A bite of salad
• 2 snack-size Krackle bars

Van picked up some cute habits during the Olympics. First, he knew that when a swimming race started, he was supposed to yell, "go, go, go." Secondly, he felt very connected to the gymnasts and would raise his hands over his head after a dismount.